What's in a name.

It recently came to my attention the importance of a name. Names for things in general, but specifically people's names. I was with a group that had been meeting for about six months. One of the guys still didn't know my name or the name of one of the other guys in the group. Needless to say, this became a point of conversation while we were hanging out. Not to bash on my forgetful friend, but it is my personal conviction that it’s somewhat disrespectful not to remember someone’s name. Now, it didn't turn into a conflict or anything, but I did let him know my thoughts regarding remembering other’s names. I think that remembering and calling someone by their name is a great way to honor that person. It feels good to be remembered, and when someone doesn’t remember my name I'm always left to wonder, “did I make a negligible impression, or is this person just forgetful?”

What is it about a name that makes itself so worthy of our attention? Maybe it’s that we attach a persons personhood to their name. They are their name. Maybe it’s that a name designates and differentiates them from other persons. I know which person you are by your name. Maybe it’s that we just really like hearing our names, and by calling someone by name we give them a small pleasure. We like to hear our names. I have a feeling that the honor of a name has something to do with all three, and possibly more. 

So, what’s in a name? What does it do?

Linguistic relativity posits that words are relative to the person speaking them and to the person hearing them. Even with all the confusion that linguistic relativity creates, (for example - what Adam calls a dog, I might just as easily call a fuzzyjumper; this of course would make talking about the dog/ fuzzyjumper very difficult if there weren't one present) it would be impossible to think without words. The breadth and depth to which we are capable of thinking our thoughts is intimately related to the number of words that we have at our disposal to express them. So, without words, without differentiation, without names, it would be impossible for us to think our thoughts.

This leads me to two conclusions

First, due to the differentiating nature of words (that is, by calling a thing what you call it you separate it from what it is not) we gain the ability to have complex thoughts. Without words, without language, without names, there are no thoughts, no thinking, no communication. So, in thinking our complex thoughts, we associate certain names and words with others. This gives language and names an incredible power. This power can be both dangerous and beautiful depending on how we utilize it. By naming a thing we define what it is, not only to ourselves, but also to the world. So, we would do well to be careful about how exactly we label those around us.

Second, to not know my name is to not acknowledge the things that make me the unique individual that I am. Now, if I'm a stranger, then that's alright; if I'm someone you've met more that a few times, then I find it mildly disrespectful if you don't know my name. By not knowing a person's name you effectively (in a subtle way) attribute their being to all the other things that are unknown to you, and you make that person no more important than all the other persons whose names you don't know.

This may not be your personal conviction about labeling and names. However, there is one take-away that I want to be clear about. The ways that we think determine our actions and our words, and our words and actions perpetuate what we think. So, whether out-loud or just in our heads, we need to be considerate about how we label others; but please, if you've met someone a few times, try to remember their name. They'll like you more for it, and in a fast paced world of forgetful people you'll be doing them a great kindness.